by Elijah Mutabuza Ssalongo
The idea that there is only one soul mate or that “if you truly love someone you will not be drawn to others” is not always valid in reality. If you find yourself stuck with feelings for two people, you must step back, understand what kind of feelings you are experiencing and then try to decide which of the persons you should commit to. It may not always be clear which person is right for you. As long as you are honest, you will have your answer. Here is a quick guide to help you find that answer quickly.
Decide on one person to mentally commit yourself to for the time being.
This mental transition does not have to be permanent and it does not have to be verbalized to anyone, if you don’t want to. If you can’t decide which one to mentally commit to first, just go with the first person you met, or the one who is kinder, or the one who you like the personality of the most.
Write down everything you can think of for the first person until you exhaust the list. Write down everything you can think of for the second person until you exhaust the list. Keep the following questions in mind
- What characteristics are important for selecting a great life partner, in general?
- What specific aspects of each friendship do you value?
- What specific aspects of each friendship could be improved?
- What do you find attractive in each person?
- How has each person reciprocated your kindness?
- How has each person reacted to adversity?
- Is there one that reciprocates your love more?
- How realistic is you picture of each person? If you know one of them better can you still see the situation clearly?
Look at the list of comparisons and work through the feelings in each list.
Does one person feel slightly more compatible to you than the other?
This does not mean that you can’t still love both, but it directs the probability of success towards one relationship over another.
there you are good to go
