How to know the is cheating on you

By Elijah Mutabuza


You’ve been happy with your partner for a while now but something is starting to feel wrong.

It’s the last thing you want to believe but you suspect he might be cheating on you. How can you tell for sure without strapping a lie detector to him or hiring a private investigator?

“The number one sign that someone is cheating on you is your intuition,” says Tammy Nelson, Ph.D., author of The New Monogamy.  “Listen to your gut. It usually will steer you in the right direction.”

however, your gut’s not necessarily foolproof. After all, you might be confusing fear and insecurities for intuition, says Nelson. Not sure which one you’re feeling? let us run through this and see how to know what he is really doing behind your back…

 Your Sex Life Has Radically Changed
While a nonexistent sex life can be a hint of bad things brewing, so are suddenly over-the-top sexcapades. “Yes, sex may have always been good, but now he is flopping you all over the bed and sweat is pouring down his face and he is holding his iPhone over your shoulder to take pictures of your behind in the mirror,” says Nelson. “The erotic charge of sleeping with two people at the same time is also a huge turn-on—one that he might be getting off on at your expense.”

He stops noticing you

You could probably wear a bag over your head and he wouldn’t notice. Even when he ‘makes an effort’ to be with you, he doesn’t really notice you. A client once told me she’d stuck a strand of her long hair in the flame during a candle-lit dinner with her husband – and he didn’t notice.

His Grooming Habits Have Gotten Way Better
You’ve been on him for months to trim his nose hair, and now he’s trimming not only his nostrils but his man-parts, as well? A dramatic shift in your guy’s attention to grooming, clothes, and his fitness habits (is he working out like crazy now?) may indicate that he’s trying to impress another woman, says behavioral scientist and dating expert Christie Hartman, Ph.D., author of Changing Your Game: A Man’s Guide to Success with Women.

He’s Unavailable All of the Time
While he might legitimately have to work late, the cover-up excuse is cliché for a reason, says Haltzman. It’s an easy way for guys to carve out time to spend with someone on the side. Be leery if he is suddenly (and constantly) coming up with reasons—work-related or otherwise—to leave the house over the weekend or at night, says Needle.

He’s behaving suspiciously on the phone

So your boyfriend’s walking out of the room to take calls, and has suddenly started to lock his phone? Deal with it directly. “I know it’s common to look through a man’s phone rather than raise the issue, but try to avoid doing it,” says Elijah. “Rather than become suspicious and untrustworthy like him, sit him down and ask what’s going on. When he answers, concentrate not on what he’s saying, but how he says it. Tell-tale signs include fidgety body language and hesitation.”

He’s Always on the Defensive
“Does he get overly defensive when you say, ‘Hey, where have you been all night, I tried to reach you?’” asks Nelson. “If he jumps down your throat and tries to explain his absent four hours with blame—‘Why are you always bugging me?’—then you know you are either a) always bugging him, or b) he is doing something he doesn’t want to tell you about and he is using some kind of lame reverse psychology to try and distract you.”

He hides his post

Cheating costs money, whether it’s paying for dinner or a night in a hotel. And with all the extra spending comes evidence that there’s something going on. “A cheater might hide his credit card bill,” says Nelson. “But if you get the chance to look at the evidence, you’ll be able to tell exactly what kind of affair is going on – and how serious it is.”

These behaviors among others can help you know that you are being cheated on, and you will know what to do next.